Optional Title- Memorial Weekend

Hi, guys!

I just returned this afternoon from my parents’ cabin at the lake in north Michigan. It’s a wonderful place. My two sons and oldest son’s wife and my hubby all made it up for the weekend, along with my brother’s family. We got the boats and the dock into the lake in the correct places. We planted flowers for my mom.  I managed to get my two new kayaks up there on top of my car….no major problems, just one rope breakage at the outset of the trip.

It was interesting weather. Cold, hot, stormy, humid, muggy, hot, sunny…..it had it all. We swam and boated and kayaked and played water volleyball. The water was that warm. I remember taking my kids up there in snowsuits at this time of year 20 years ago. So weird.

It was a good time, but I felt like a complete crab for a lot of the weekend. My mom and dad are losing their hearing so a lot of shouting is necessary. And my mom says the most irritating things (as the law requires moms to do)…such as “Lock the bathroom door if you’re going in there.”

Ok, mom.

I now feel really bad for feeling grumpy at my mom all weekend. She is just trying to join in the conversation and make herself feel a part of things. And I react with irritation. Sigh.

Then I return home to find that a man has eaten another man’s face off. This is a top news story.

What an interesting world we live on.

I’ll post pictures another post. I have to recover from seeing the “news” for the first time in four days.

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42 Responses to Optional Title- Memorial Weekend

  1. kimkiminy says:

    Sounds marvelous.

    Isn’t it funny how you can’t wait to see your folks, and then as soon as you get there you can’t wait to leave? Maybe it’s just me.

    • Lauri says:

      No, it’s not just you. Just about everything my mom says irritates me, poor woman. And, I suppose everything I say irritates my own kids.
      What a strange thing for biology to do to us.

  2. Well. I can identify with your mom, sort of. My daughters sounded over the phone really excited about seeing me this past weekend, but when we got together, they snapped at me and cut me off with “I KNOW THAT! You said that before!” (But I don’t recall repeating myself. Maybe I’m coming down with Alzheimer’s too?) It did make me think a little harder about what I say to my own parents. Though I’d like to think I’m nice to my kids, and not surly and crabby like my parents. Oh well.

    The cabin sounds cool. I miss those drives to “the lake” in Minnesota. I’d always pack snacks and juice for the kids in their own little coolers and we’d sing and play games on the highway. Now we’re lucky to get together at my parents’ place for Christmas. *sigh*

    • Lauri says:

      Yep, I hear ya. I get a lot of eyerolls and Yes, Mom s from my kids, too. The female one especially. *shifty eyes*
      There has to be a biological reason for it but I don’t know what it is.

      • An older friend told me that all daughters hate their mothers until the mom isn’t able to “compete with” or judge the daughters anymore. (Meaning, she’s dead or so senile she doesn’t even know her kids are in the same room anymore?) What gets me is that I don’t judge my kids. They say I do, but how? WTF did I say to piss them off?

        • Lauri says:

          That’s why I feel there is a biological component to it. I mean why would something my mom says make me want to slit my own throat when a friend can say the exact same thing and I will nod and smile and look interested and tilt my head curiously.

          I can totally see the competition thing as they are growing, that was unmistakable, but now? It’s weird.

          And I dont’ judge anyone either. I do my utmost to be supportive, but not make annoying suggestions. Of course there are the many times the Mom Comments jump out of my mouth. Like “Drive safely”.

          Those can’t be helped.

          • Yeah, that, and “You look so thin. Are you eating?” Or, “Are you coming down with a cold? You look sick.” I guess they could interpret those remarks as judgmental, but for me it’s just concern. Then what kills me is they get mad if I ignore them or don’t ask about their health, job, personal life, whatever. “Because it’s none of YOUR business.” You can’t win. :p

            • Lauri says:

              Oh, that SO reminds me of my oldest son…I would go to his soccer games and cheer. And of course I was loud, but always only had positive things to yell. He hollered at me to be quiet. So, I kept quiet. The next thing I hear is “Why aren’t you cheering at my soccer games?”
              That little about-face made me smile to myself.

              • “Mom, can you not cheer so loud? But you can cheer a little bit. Just so I know you’re there.” LOL!

                • crankypants says:

                  I think that is more criticism or ‘smothering’. Even though it may not be meant that way, we as daughters get to an age where you don’t need your mother to tell you everything and how to do it. Someone else can get away with it because they haven’t been mothering you since your birth. And being questioned feels like criticism or like you are being treated like you are not able to care for yourself or like she thinks you are stupid. Of course my mom IS always critical, anything that happens to me that is bad she automatically blames me, well you must have done something.

  3. Jaypo says:

    Hoo boy… Look what turned up in the NYT:
    http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/05/why-wont-they-get-hearing-aids/

    Dad has an amplifier kind of thing he wears around his neck, for his hearing aids. Does he use it? No, he’d rather ask us to repeat every other sentence. “Hunh?!! what!!??” Until I finally said one day that I didn’t have the enegy to shout every word and thought twice. *silent scream*

    • Lauri says:

      Tooooo true! I was wondering if they are irritating me so much because I am seeing where I will be in 20 years?
      Sigh. I don’t know. I’m a bit maudlin this week.

    • e2thec says:

      my mom finally consented to hearing aids, but she refuses to wear them in the evenings, when she watches TV and listens to music.

      The other night, the guy across the hall (an early-to-bed type) asked her to turn down her TV and she got *really* upset. My suggestion that she keep her hearing aids in until she goes to bed was *not* appreciated, probably because she knows it’s true.

      I felt like, OK, you two work it out (neighbor and her) and said so. He’s a good friend (ex-bf, actually) and I think she got really offended (or something).

      Oh God, I *hope* I’m not as stubborn at that age, but knowing myself, my guess is that I’ll be pretty contrary.

      it’s very hard to not see oneself in 20-30 years in parents’ behavior…

  4. crankypants says:

    sounds like a lovely weekend! I, of course, can relate about the hearing aids. The thing that drives me insane is that my mom doesn’t employ a shred of logic to fill in the blanks if she didn’t hear just a word or 2. “I’m going to the Phillies game tomorrow.” “you’re going where?” “The Phillies game.” The what game? “PHILLIES”. “…” “………” “the Eagles game?” MOM, ARE THE EAGLES PLAYING? NO. That is not an actual conversation but that is the gist of it. Actually it would be more absurd than Eagles, she’d probably think I said the chihuahua game or something. And it’s always on something unimportant that is not worth repeating but I repeat it 2 or 3 times and then when I say that it wasn’t important she gets pissed off like I am just blowing her off because she couldn’t hear it. Really mom, it was nothing. Patience is always needed and often in short supply with hearing loss. I don’t have kids so by the time I go deaf noone will be talking to me anyway.Hell,no one talks to me now!

    • Lauri says:

      I’ll drive down and talk to you. Maybe we wouldn’t irritate each other like the rest of the world is to me right now. I need a nap, I have a headache. But….I DID go to yoga today, so even though I’m all pooped and wrung out right now, it’s still a good day.

  5. Jaypo says:

    Oh, and why did that guy do that to the other guy? I need to obliterate the thought from my hayd.

  6. Redscylla says:

    Oy. The hearing loss. My beloved grandma lost her hearing early and nearly drove us all batshit with her refusal to wear aids.

    My mother, however, does not have hearing loss to blame for her irritating habits. So I think the maternal-associated grumpiness is a natural process for some of us. As sad as that is. 😦

    Like Cranky, I’m looking forward to my lonely old age of deafness.

    • Lauri says:

      Heehee. My lonely old age of deafness. It sounds pretty peaceful. My parents’ major irritation isn’t the hearing loss right now, it’s the non-stop “helpful suggestions” to all of us grown and now getting old ourselves children.
      “Have ‘this’ for lunch.” “Why don’t you take the kayak out?” “Why doesn’t so and so want to eat lunch before they drive home?”
      For god’s sake, if I wanted that for lunch I would have it. If I wanted to take the kayak out I would. And if so and so wanted lunch before they left they would fucking EAT LUNCH without being told. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

      There….I feel better. Or, I will after a nap.

      • Redscylla says:

        LOL! As people get older, they need to nap. 😀

        I can see why the “helpful” suggestions would be irritating, though I would take them over my mother’s non-stop judgments. She prefers to condemn your choices after you make them, rather than offer you advice before. It’s one of her last true pleasures now that she’s too fat to do most everything else she used to enjoy.

      • e2thec says:

        Naps are a wonderful thing – my parents were always big on afternoon naps, so I guess I’ve tended to view them as a good pick-me-up, even when I was younger.

        Which is a good thing, because I *had* to sleep a lot when I came down with mono back in 1989, and for quite a few years thereafter (had some kind of weird conglomeration of viruses that make me exhausted… took about 8 years to recover completely from the viral symptoms). Sleep can be one of the sweetest things on earth. I really looked forward to naps back in the 90s, and now I need them because I’m aging and have fibro.

        I honestly think our society would benefit from a less “Gotta work, gotta work, gotta WORK” attitude toward getting through the day – even a one-hour break in the afternoon (business closed) could be a tonic. (Though I think the old-style 3-hour afternoon break in many parts of Europe is just about ideal…)

  7. Lauri says:

    I just had to chase Orion around the yard to get a headless baby bunny away from him. Sigh. And yuck.

  8. Lauri says:

    But, you know what? I am smiling because I enjoy talking to you guys. And I’m glad you are all still here. 🙂 Group hug!

    • Redscylla says:

      *HUG* I am happy today, too. I need to hang out with my Voxies more often, even when I am in a crap mood.

      • e2thec says:

        I think we *all* need that, Red.

        Just reading some of the hearing loss comments makes me feel less alone. My mom is a sweet person, but sometimes she drives me around the bend!!!

  9. You should read the things your kids say about you on THEIR blogs … lol.

    And I have to ask, since this is the way I read it – “You have pictures of the guy eating the other man’s face off?”

    • Lauri says:

      No waaaaaay. But, apparently there are pictures on the internet of the guy’s, erm, lack of face.
      I’m not going looking for them, though. O. M. G.

      • Lauri says:

        As for my kids….they are totally welcome to say whatever they need to on their blogs! Whatever gets us through life! Wow…it’s a bugger sometimes!

      • e2thec says:

        me neither!!!! Do NOT want to see.

        Apparently the guy who did it was on bath salts – just about anything could have been in that combo; the incident reminded me of some of the out-of-their-mind violent incidents that took place in D.C. when PCP abuse was at its height.

        What shocked me is that the CNN story that cranky linked to referred to bath salts as “the new LSD.” Acid can freak people out, but it does NOT make them homicidal crazy.

        Now, if we could all just toke out legally, wouldn’t that be nice!!!

  10. madtante says:

    Sounds like a Big Time!

    I used to be disgusted by people who said, “I don’t read the paper.” I stopped reading the paper and watching CNN. Fem. They don’t cover NEWS anymore anyway and I don’t want to follow Michael Jackson’s love letter (he’s DEAD and I didn’t care when he was alive) or hear about people eating others faces. Ew.

    I *do* like reading about YOU, though. Just keep kayaking and avoid nomming peoples’ heads 🙂

  11. Oooof, the hearing loss and The Battle of Hearing Aids (that squeak, loose battery, feel uncomfortable, are annoying, and not least “make people think I’m old, deaf and dumb”) that never, ever ends…I know the feeling of trying to be supportive and understanding – because it is a handicap – and trying to stifle the impulse to YELL, sigh.

    Oh, and mum tried to teach me how to do ordinary laundry over the weekend. Heaves, what does she think I’ve been doing until now?? *laughs and shakes head* Ooof, family 😉

  12. GOF says:

    Reminds me of when I was 30-something going to visit my Mum once a year, and after a couple of hours she would treat me just like she did when I was a young teenager.
    Sounds like you had a great time regardless.

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