Three weird things…and stuff I can’t find.

I had three weird things said to me by health care professionals last week. Number One. My family doctor told me I needed to lose weight “so I could feel better about my self.”

Now, I am 5’4″ and weigh 146. I could stand to lose 15 pounds. So, I don’t mind being told that, but where did he get any ideas that I wasn’t feeling good about myself. I’m about to turn 56 years old. I enjoy my wine and Cheetos. I may or may not lost weight, but I still feel good about myself.

Number Two. The girl who was taking my eyesight readings at the eye doc’s office. She says that I might want to get glasses for night driving. Then I won’t have to “be afraid to drive at night”. I am not, nor have I ever been afraid to drive at night. And the eye doc said “Pah, you don’t need glasses to drive at night. She was just trying for a Christmas bonus.”

Number Three. The eye doc, looking at my chart, where I had written that I take Prozac, pats me on the arm and says “There, there, what do YOU have to be depressed about?” I have nothing to be depressed about. Depression is a genetic gift I was given from my maternal grandfather, through my mother to me. When I hear how my grandfather suffered with depression before there was any understanding of it, and how my mother was put on tranquilizers most of her adult life, I am extremely grateful for Prozac which keeps my seritonin levels stable. I would think a health care professional would know that.

Ok, two things I can’t find… cookie press and my Christmas tree. Yeah, my damn Christmas tree. We got a small artificial tree last year which fits into the boxbay window and doesn’t take up floor space. I can’t find it.

Ok, I guess I better go look some more! 😉

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48 Responses to Three weird things…and stuff I can’t find.

  1. crankypants says:

    Good lord! what a bunch of ignoramuseseses! Ignorami?
    What do you have to be depressed about I think is one of the most common misunderstandings about depression. Also because people use the word so carelessly, like Oh I’m so depressed the Phillies lost in extra innings. Um, no.
    don’t you just love how people make assumptions about certain things? Your weight is not bad at all especially considering you are so active. Anyone who has as many critters as you do and does the job that you do can’t ever be considered sedentary so that’s half the battle right there. As long as you are happy and healthy, that’s what matters. I’d like to fit into some older pants again, but I try to be realistic about my age and I just make sure that I take care of my back and get up off my butt to do stuff more often. I can’t expect a whole lot more from myself. This weekend I hardly even thought about food, I was too busy getting shit done! Go figure, right? And life is way too short not to enjoy those cheetos and wine. I definitely don’t believe in depriving oneself of such little pleasures in life.

    • Lauri says:

      I really would like to lose 5 or 10 pounds. But, not because I feel bad about myself! Because it’s too hard to button my jeans!
      Hearing all those three comments in the same week sort of made me feel like a frail doddering oldster.
      And, to tell the truth, I was feeling a bit frail with the damn aching muscles and joints. But the Voltarin is helping that a LOT so maybe I’ll stop looking so frail. 😛

  2. trishc1812 says:

    Responses to your Three Weird Things and Stuff You Can’t Find:

    1. Shoot!! I’m five foot three and a half inches. 145 is my goal weight. *snort* Why would anyone assume you are not happy with yourself?
    2. I AM scared to drive at night. I have trouble ascertaining if the cars coming at me are in my lane or not. I also have a HUGE depth perception issue at night. If it’s been raining and it’s dark—I keep my happy little butt at home. I know my limitations and I respect them. I hope that girl gets her Christmas bonus, but doesn’t suggest glasses to people that don’t need them.
    3. Prozac is my friend. I am not on it for depression. I am on it to help control my temper during PMS time. Without the help I would turn into one of those ‘goes on a rampage and kills everyone in sight’ women. Prozac helps keep my black anger under control.

    Chris keeps telling me that we broke Joseph last year when we were putting our decorations away. I don’t remember that, but since he is still missing it is entirely possible. I still can’t find my favorite purple sweater and there are a few more things that have come up missing lately.

    I hope you find your tree, that is very puzzling. How does one go about losing a tree?

    • Lauri says:

      Lol. You may have broken Joseph.
      And the tree is in a box…I just have to delve deeper into the basement closets to find it. I thought I had stored it out above the garage, but it’s not there. Sheesh!

      Prozac is so very helpful to so many people. My family doctor’s nurse says that if she didn’t take it she would be awake at 3 am polishing doorknobs. (OCD). She actually says “They should put Prozac in the water. It’s good for everything.” 😀

      Having the depth perception problems at night is VERY scary!

  3. kimkiminy says:

    Boy, people sure feel free to assume what your mental state is, huh?

  4. Laurie says:

    Patronizing! presumptuous! inapprorpriate!!… I am spluttering with anger over here at those so-called “professionals” making assumptions about your feelings and mental state. I hope you gave them smart aleck answers that put them in their place.

    • Lauri says:

      Ya know, I must have been looking weird last week. I was in one of those strange times when every muscle and joint hurt and I just didn’t have it in me to respond with snark. I did tell the eye doc that the depression was a genetic gift from my mother’s side of the family, though.
      The annoying thing was I don’t think he got what I was saying at all.

  5. Yuck, what do they know? (actually, they should know – they should know better!! Pah!

    • Lauri says:

      Haha. Yeah….I have been mulling it over since last week, and now it seems sort of funny…but still….three different people? Who should know better!

  6. madtante says:

    Hey! If it makes you feel better (cos you’re so worried about it) I’m 5’2″ and currently weight 145. So THERE! I’m fatter than you and younger — wait, that wasn’t about me being younger but as if I should be smaller. I don’t know what I was trying to do there other than make you laugh and the stoopidity but I’ve out-stoopidified myself.

    Where was I?

    The eyes? Scared? Hell, I’m scared every time I get behind the wheel. Wish somebody would fix that…

    That last doctor must be old and hadn’t read JAMA since 1959.

    I saw not finding your tree is a sign to not DO a tree. Do something different, decorate the sofa. Or something. Build a shrine out of the toilet!

  7. Wait … you cannot find your Christmas tree? And here I thought you decluttered …

    The eye doc statement was WAY out of line. Unless you “walk in my shoes” do NOT even try to judge my perceived “happiness level.” The family doc statement was odd, but not as out of line professionally speaking.

    Hell, I’m afraid to drive at night and I wear glasses, lol. Good thing I’m home in bed … wait … I work at night and am always driving in the dark. Never mind.

    • Lauri says:

      Apparently the tree is hiding under some of the clutter that did not get de-cluttered! I’ll go look some more, now. I had to go to the grocery store first. To get more wine and Cheetos! HA!

  8. doranyc says:

    #1. Wow. Just WOW. 5’4″ and 146lbs sounds pretty good to me. What an asshat.

    #2. LOL

    #3. Um…. I think my response would have been “So, I see why you’re an eye doctor”.

  9. What? I’m 5’5″ and finally got my weight down to 145 pounds. My doctor was so happy she told me to take a victory lap. This was after Thanksgiving, mind you, so I thought I was doing pretty good. But the remark your doctor made about feeling better about yourself was sexist. There’s this huge assumption in our culture that women place so much importance on our physical appearance, we’re unhappy if we don’t conform to the standards of a Vanity Fair cover.

    I wear glasses and I don’t like driving at night. That’s partly because my night vision has gotten worst as I’ve gotten older, and partly because my parents’ neighborhood isn’t very safe. We have drive-bys and muggings and carjackings. When my son showed up at our door at midnight on his bicycle, I almost fainted. He said “everyone was nice” to him, but I think it may have been because they thought he was a little mentally ill to be riding around at night. *snert*

    Health professionals make a lot of dumb assumptions about what makes us happy. Like Laurie said, it’s unprofessional to make those sort of remarks.

    • Lauri says:

      After thinking about the family doc “weight” comment, I believe that he was trying to say that I didn’t need to lose weight for health reasons…because my bloodwork was all fine, and I’m just borderline on that BMI thing, whatever that is. So, his reasoning to tell me to lose weight was so I could “feel better about myself”. He even asked “Didn’t I say that diplomatically?” like he was proud of himself. So, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and I just said “Yes, you did.” and I didn’t even point out that HE needs to lose 50 pounds.

      • Redscylla says:

        See, now that’s what I would have said to the doc, “Oh you, poor dear, as fat as you are, you must feel just terrible about yourself.” I need to lose 50 lbs, but the last time my doctor tried to nag me about that, I just cut her off. I was like, “Yeah, I know. I’m fat, not stupid.”

  10. stevebetz says:

    That is really odd — that people that are medical professionals would just assume what you’re feeling, thinking or afraid of. Bizarre. I’d be all “Screw off — you don’t know me. Oh and Merry Christmas.”

    • Lauri says:

      I gave all three of them a pass and pretended I didn’t hear them. It just struck me as weird to have all three comments from three different people in one week!

  11. elizabethannewrites says:

    Sheeeeeesh. Everyone else has made such excellent comments. I just want to jump on the bandwagon and say “I hear you” to the genetically inherited depression. My mother used to consider the difference in me since I started taking meds (Effexor in my case) and she would say “I so wish my Dad had had access to medication like that. It would have helped him so much.” She was saying that even before she had to go on Effexor herself.

    I can see the proverbial “person on the street” goofing and saying something like that. Anyone in a branch of the health care world should know better.

    P.S. I know exactly where you will find your tree. In the last place you look.

    • Lauri says:

      It still hurts me to think of my grandpa. I remember my grandma telling me that he would just scream into a pillow “God help me”. *shudder*
      And such a kind gentle man.

  12. Lauri says:

    Guess what! I found the tree! It was on the very top shelf of the workroom down in the basement! Yay! 🙂

  13. Lurkertype says:

    At least the tree problem is solved.

    Santa needs to put coal in the stockings of all 3 of those people. How unprofessional.

    My doctor chastises me about needing to eat more veggies and get more exercise, but he’s never said a word about losing weight. And I am almost as old and way more decrepit than you, but the same size.

    Anti-depressants are one of the great triumphs of our time. My father’s father killed himself before my dad was born, but at least in his old age, my dad got some benefit from Prozac.

    • Lauri says:

      There’s no way you are decrepit!
      I’m so glad your dad benefited from the Prozac. His poor dad. 😦
      You are so right about antidepressants being a very good thing.

  14. robpixaday says:

    They’ve got some nerve. I wish you couldn’t find THOSE numbnuts, instead of the Christmass tree and cookie press.

    Wait! I just saw that you found the tree!! HOOOOORAY!!!!!

  15. AuntieBellum says:

    Well, you’re 56 (i.e., NOT 22), so what could you possibly have to feel good about? 🙄

    My eye doc has been telling me since I was in my mid-30s that “as we age,” this and that starts happening to our vision. I used to resent it, but now I’m starting to see what he means. (Get it? “See” what he means? Bwah! I slay myself… :mrgreen: )

  16. Emmy says:

    That eye doctor should be kicked in the nuts. I’m sorry, but what an outrageous thing to say. He probably has his own hang-ups and that’s all it is about. I inherited depression as well, it is a simple brain condition that can be controlled with exercise, meds, in my case not drinking, whatever works. You’d think an eye doc would know that. Although I learned the hard way that one of those “ops” (either optometrist or opthamologist) are not real doctors.

    On the other hand, the family doc sounds like they had the opposite problem – coincidentally I just read an article about how uncomfortable some docs feel about speaking to clients about weight. Maybe that was just their generic speech – “so you’ll feel better”.

    Gah, I hate it when I lose holiday decorations! Don’t you wish you could just call it like a cell phone?

    • Lauri says:

      Lol. Now I am thinking that these people were losing it. It was them, not me! 😉

      I found the tree, so that is up and has lights and garland and some decorations on it. I probably won’t look for the cookie press since I feel so bad about myself! Bahaha!

      It’s a good thing we can laugh!

    • Lurkertype says:

      Emmy, that used to confuse me too till I finally realized: the longer the title, the longer they have spent in school and are real doctors. Like, to get new glasses, I only have to go to an optometrist, but the time I scratched my cornea, I had to go to the opthamologist, b/c that was damage needed a real doctor.

      (But it’s the other way around with “psych” docs.)

      The difference is whether they went to med school and residency and can prescribe drugs themselves.

  17. GOF says:

    Dentists tend to fall into the same category too… fancy practitioner in the city wanted Mrs GOF to spend $3000 every 2 years to “maintain your dental health and make you feel good about yourself”. Our old country dentist then told her it was a whole lot of cosmetic codswallop and now Mrs GOF feels quite wonderful about herself by NOT spending #3000 every couple of years.

    • Lauri says:

      Ha! Excellent point! I would feel extremely good about myself for not spending $3000, too!
      Maybe I’ll stop going to doctors, save money, avoid witless comments and feel really good about myself!

  18. I hate it when I get red or sweaty and someone makes reference to “that time of life”. I had a hysterectomy over 10 years ago so another false assumption. I feel the heat, who doesn’t in an Australian summer!

    Have you found the tree? Do you think it the Easter Bunny stole it out of jealousy?

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