F*ck a Duck

I mean, seriously. Go out, find a duck and f*ck it. My nerves are shot but as you can see quite plainly I AM on the internet. Last week Ken went the Verizon store and got himself a Thunderbolt. (whatever that is). I was rumbling along just fine here on my PC with a 3G wireless USB modem from Verizon. Ken very thoughtfully brought me a brand spanking new super duper improved and speedy 4G wireless USB modem. We thought.

Last week before heading up north I tried installing it. No dice. My computer complained it had no “drivers” to run the thing. I call tech support. They informed me that this device they had sold me required my PC to be wi-fi um…..working. I mean, the computer had to be wi-fi compatible….or something. So, they had sold me the wrong device. However, the tech dude informed me, I could purchase a USB wi fi adapter and then be good to go with my new 4G thingy and…bonus….anyone who comes over with a laptop can immediately connect through the internet..which up until now the kids have been unable to do here unless they stole my 3G USB modem.

Ok, fine used trucks.

I ordered the adapter. Installed it and attempted to get my new 4G device connecting me to teh intrawebs. Nope. The light on the device which should be happily green was a sickly violet. New tech support lady sez “Your sim card is probably bad. Go get a new one.”

I did. Went in. Got new sim card. Salesdude shakes head and says “Very weird”. But, I just got home and turned everything on. My wifi adapter is flipping from “connected” to “disconnected”. The 4G device now has a nice green light, but connection is still not happening. The message I am getting is “No IP address”.

Joy of joys! I find a “Support” number in the directions for the wifi adapter. First girl who answers the phone tries to be helpful but you can tell she is looking things up. When I say “I have no IP address” she mutters to herself “IP address”…and says I have to have a password for my router. Well, I don’t know where my router IS….I thought it was part of my PC. She has no idea where I would find a password for my router. She puts me on hold. Hallelujah! A “real” tech support dude answers the phone and tells me to look on the back of my Verizon 4g device. Miracle of miracles…it says “Password” right on the back!!! There’s a 14 digit number that is so small I have to take it outside in the sunlight to read it. I write it down embiggened for myself and come back in…plug everything in and what the f*ck. IT WORKS.

I am online and feelin’ F.I.N.E.

F*ucked up. Insane. Neurotic and Emotional.

Anyway….I have boxes and papers and shit strewn all over this goshdarned desk and I am a wreck, but the intrawebs are working again.


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27 Responses to F*ck a Duck

  1. Ummmm…I don’t think the duck would appreciate it and that would be awkward. Haha.
    Anyway, booooo Verizon for being so difficult! I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with them. I wonder who would be worse if you were to compare Verizon and Comcast…
    Glad that’s over with and that you’re online again 🙂

  2. I don’t like ducks that way …

    Gee, if you’d’ve called me I could’ve told you where the password was. Or guessed. I have to occasionally reenter the one on my DSL modem, and it’s in the same place.

  3. marilyn says:

    WOW I’m soooooooooooo sorry kiddo! But your back and in the fightin’ mood and that’s a good thing!! xo M

  4. Laurie says:

    Very glad you found your way through the morass. I’d have given up and cried about halfway through that ordeal.

    • Lauri says:

      I was ready to have a cow a couple of times. It’s almost as if we have to reach a certain threshold of pain before tech-type crap can fall into place and work. It always drives me bonkers!

  5. trishc1812 says:

    Heh, heh, heh….there was a time when I was the “First girl who answers the phone tries to be helpful but you can tell she is looking things up.” Not only was I looking things up, but I had no clue why I was looking up the things I was looking up. I got transferred to the ‘make the ticked off customer happy’ Customer Service dept. I was much better at that.
    I’m glad you are back up and running. Being off-line can be so traumatizing. I mean, what are you supposed to do with all of that time???

    • Lauri says:

      Well, I am always very polite to the folks on the phone. She DID know that I needed a password, but she couldn’t tell me where to find the password or where to plug it in on the WiFi adapter screen. So, the next guy told me those two tidbits!
      I never get upset at the folks on the phone or even the salesguy who sold us the wrong crap…..and there was no charger for the 4G device in the box. “Really?” he says. “That never happens”…..well, he found me a charger in the back somewhere.
      Oy. And I stayed (outwardly) calm through it all.

  6. lauowolf says:

    I am molesting no ducks for you, but….
    (and prepare to remind the router about the password regularly, they are nasty fussy things.

  7. Jaypo says:

    I could have helped you, larui, only because I’ve been thru the same thing when I set up my old Linksys wireless. it took me 3 freakin hours.

    I bought a new wireless modem in March cuz the Linky be so old. Have I installed it?? Nooo. Because the trauma of that first one, and occasiomal trauma since, echoes through my cranium. Have that number tattooed on your the bottom of you foot or write it down where you’ll find it!

    • Lauri says:

      Isn’t it strange? I avoid new tech stuff like the plague cuz it is so stressful. Now everything is fine and working quietly like it should. Erg. My poor brain!

      • Jaypo says:

        Unfortunately in some ways, I love new tech stuff–I get excited about it and then everyone else around me gets confoosled. I’m also tenacious so I spend alot of time trying to figure things out. Sure, sure, sure, someone else could do it more quickly but then when it happened again I wouldn’t know how to fix it. I spent from April till early June effing up my entire email. But I figured it out!!! 😀

        • Lauri says:

          I am exactly like that….I really don’t mind calling tech support….every single one I talk to has been so nice! (Yeah, well, your call is being monitored and all that). If the person I talk to doesn’t have the answer I call right back and get a different person. Someone eventually has the answers!
          We ARE good, aren’t we? 😉

  8. madtante says:

    Ack, Christ! I always dread new tech–really. My “given” is 30 days to suss shite out. I’ve trained everybody to expect a lot of screaming, swearing and possibly tears but most of all? For your own protection STAY THE FUCK AWAY from me til it’s working. Like you, it’s not just frustration, it’s NERVES. I go into fight or flight over this shite. Way too excitable and not in a good way. Ugh. That said, wish I had 4G for like free… 🙂 Everything you said scares the poop out of me, though!

    • Lauri says:

      I also had to pat myself on the back because hubby dumped this crap in my lap and then when nothing would work he’s all “Well, I have to go to work” and slinks out the door.
      I didn’t holler at him or at anyone. I just had a nervous breakdown and told all my peeps to molest poultry once everything was working.
      I guess it could have been worse….

  9. AuntieBellum says:

    Argh! Nothing frustrates me like technology.

    And my mom thinks I’m the technology expert, so she asks me all her computer questions. (The truth is that my sister is the tech geek, but she’s lost all patience with mom and they just yell at each other…)

    Anyhoot, I’m glad you found the password. I’ve had a heckuva time getting my devices hooked up to the wireless network, too, and it was only when I couldn’t get the wireless on my Kindle to work that I finally figured out that it’s not the huge-ass 26-digit (?) wireless network password that it wants but some network security password from the ISP page that it needs.


    • Lauri says:

      Oy is right!
      So far my Kindle has behaved itself pretty well! So far….

      • AuntieBellum says:

        Mine has been great, too, once I got the wireless thing to work. And I just had to recharge it last weekend, for the first time!

        I went on a Kindle book binge at Amazon a couple weeks ago. I got seven or eight items, and spent a whopping $7.84, or something like. 😀

        • Lauri says:

          I have downloaded so much free stuff….the entire Sherlock Holmes series, the novels of PG Wodehouse, all kinds of fun stuff. Also there are so many books for .99! Love my Kindle!

  10. GOF says:

    I understand your pain.
    Next time I’m happy to lend you my sledge hammer. Using it is very therapeutic.
    Very happy you got everything sorted out….eventually.

  11. snoringKatZ says:

    I know this was yesterday and all but I’ve had a shitty day technologically speaking so I’m going to suggest we just call this Technological Impairment Week and go use the library computers until Sunday.

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