Not quite feelin’ it.

But, I promised that I would have a “party” at the end of National Lab Week and this is it. I made sloppy joes, have some subs coming, the house is clean and a bonfire ready to be built if the wind ever dies down. I really don’t know if we will be able to do the bonfire in these gusts.

It’s strange as we are all getting older and lazier how people don’t show at things like they used to. I’m a real homebody and once I get home I like to stay here. Plus it’s rough knowing that Rachel can’t barely swallow anything, she starts new chemo on Monday…and she is just getting fluids through a port to keep her going until then.

If I could take her place I sure as shit would. It’s an f’d up ol’ world. Not that I don’t believe everything will work out all right in the end…and I do mean The End. Wherever this life force is leading us/the universe, it’s all got a direction and it’s so strong and purposeful. I have a feeling it’s all for a reason. This doesn’t mean that humans are the be-all end-all. The life force is.

Ok, I doth wax philosophical.

It is 60 degrees F today, and not raining, so we may be able to play some Cornhole. Yes, that is what they call it in Ohio. Let me find pics of the cornhole game that Ashlee and Ross made for us…they gave it to us at Christmas.

Ok, these are the ones they made for Adam and Sarah, but you get the idea. Anyway, I hope it’s nice enough to at least be outside a bit.

My hyacinths and daffodils are finally blooming and so pretty. I’ll upload my pics of them real soon!

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29 Responses to Not quite feelin’ it.

  1. M-----l says:

    One whole side of my family (in Ohio, of course) loves to play cornhole. I refuse to call it that, though. I go against the local vernacular and still call it “bean bag toss”.

    • Lurkertype says:

      Same here. I don’t care how traditional the name is, I won’t say it.

      Also, both where I grew up and live now, we call it “bean bag toss”. So cornhole sounds funny/wrong even without any connotations. Where’s the corn?

      • Midwestern farmers used to fill bags with seed corn instead of beans and called them cornbags. That’s what I was told in Minnesota, anyway. It’s a fun game to play with kids, though I never called it cornhole either, being a West Coast contrarian.

        Lauri, I know how you feel. I sometimes have to force myself to go to social gatherings even though I’d be happier staying at home with a book or a good movie. Looking at my parents reminds me it’s not good to sit at home in front of the TV all the time. I’m also more conscious that people are hurt when I don’t show up. Luckily I’m a sport and all-round champion drink hoister 😀 so in the end I have fun anyway. Bet your party was fun too!

        • Lauri says:

          Yes, LT. Our bags have corn in them. Hence the cornhole!

        • Lauri says:

          Well, it was a rather disappointing turn-out at the party. It was cold and windy all day and I think most folks stayed home. Meh.
          It was fine, we had a small fun group here and we played with the goats and played Corn Bag Toss and had some beers.

  2. Lurkertype says:

    Rachael is so awesome she won’t mind much not getting to eat the sloppy joes. I think the party will be a good distraction for her, get out in the fresh air, talk to people, take her mind off it, play with the critters.

    • Lauri says:

      We did have a nice time with the critters, but Rachel couldn’t make it. They are putting her right in the hospital tomorrow for the entire week of chemo because she has to “drink” at least a liter of fluids every day to keep her kidneys healthy and she can’t drink more than a few tablespoons in a whole day right now.
      This is driving me crazy and it’s not even happening to me.

  3. phantomxii says:

    It always cracks me up to have official work picnics featuring “cornhole”.

    But what is this “party” thing of which you speak? I am not having this concept in my language.

    Damn, hope things go better for Rachel.

    • Lauri says:

      Yeah…. “Party” is pretty much losing it’s meaning in my life, too. Of all of the people at work they are all either too old, too tired, working the weekend…we all work every other weekend…
      It’s a bit sad that no one shows up much anymore. But, like I said….I am pretty much a homebody, too, so I do understand!

  4. LittleOddMe says:

    Wax away, I like you when you’re philosophical … which meaneth naught, since I like you just as much when you’re not… um… waxing. Of course I’m not sure how I feel about you when you’re cornholing, I’ll have to think a little more on that one. 😛

  5. LBeeeze says:

    You philosophical forays are most welcome. I’m with you. Once I get home I want to stay here.

    Have a grand party!!!

  6. snoringKatZ says:

    (((hugs))) I’d come to your party even if I were tired. Which I am. But I’d still come!

    • Lauri says:

      Awww….thanks KatZ!
      I was watching all the bikers on the roads yesterday and thinking of you! It was a great day for that…not so great for bonfires, though!

  7. Kzinti says:

    Cornhole. Yes, I find that amusing. Speaking of Lab endings, did they shut down Fermi Lab? Yeah, I know, way out there. have to go look that up. Hope you get that Spring spring in your step soon. Maybe sleep in tomorrow? today? Crap, it’s after midnight again. Night!

    • Lauri says:

      Haha. I did sleep in. Somedays I just try to refuse to get out of bed. Then either my bladder gets me out or I just get bored and finally get up!

      At least I got plenty for rest for next week’s work!

  8. Inga says:

    I gather this ‘cornhole’ involves throwing things through the holes in the boards? I’m going to start using it as an insult – “you stupidass cornhole” sounds great.

    Healing thoughts to your Rachel.

    • Lauri says:

      Yes, it’s a bag toss game…..and the bags are filled with corn.
      It’s outrageous that Cornholing has such a negative image. Oh no it’s not, it’s hilarious!

      Thanks for the healing thoughts!

  9. madtante says:

    We used beans–in Missouri (Midwest but farther south, although we are TOTALLY a corn crop kind of place–all of our gasoline is at LEAST 10% ethanol and has been since the 70s; subsidized).

    I hear you on life/ universe…I’m not sure, though. I believe in the Force and all but I’ve always erred on the side of Deism. Seems to me a loving God wouldn’t have allowed the stuff that was done to me as a child–or would’ve caused it to stop/ intervene/ whatever. Hard to get over that. I believe the Universal “norm” is lovingkindness and that humans fuck it up. I just don’t know how much I believe there is a plan.

    I hope there is a plan. And I hope that my life will eventually see it, go with it and gladly be part of it even after I’m gone.

    • Lauri says:

      I don’t even think of it as a “plan”….it’s more a direction. Life starts and it explodes exponentially. Every niche that can possibly support life has it, and even some that don’t seem like they could support life still have life.
      So, I feel it may be on a universal level…the direction this lifeforce is taking.

      I most definitely do NOT believe in a personal God who allows the shit that goes on here on this planet. Brian Williams from NBC was interviewing someone who survived the tornadoes. She said how hard she had prayed to stay alive and Brian said “And you know it worked, don’t you?”
      When they do that I want to scream “What about her next door neighbor who is squashed flat as a pancake?!?!?”

      As we were discussing Rachel’s cancer at work a co-worker said “Well, praise the Lord, because he will take care of this!”
      I just didn’t even respond because it ticked me off too much. Yeah, she has gone through two chemos, and several surgeries and a bone marrow transplant and now has to DO.IT.ALL.AGAIN and now you say the Lord can take care of it? What was he doing the last 18 months???

  10. pyrit says:

    Earworm for you. This song has been stuck in my head this week:
    (Rare Earth, 1971!)
    “I Just Want To Celebrate”

    I just want to celebrate, another day of livin’.
    I just want to celebrate, another day of life!
    I put my faith in the people
    But the people let me down
    So I turned the other way
    And I carry on, anyhow
    That’s why I’m telling you

    I just want to celebrate, yeah, yeah
    I just want to celebrate, yeah, yeah
    Another day of living,
    I just want to celebrate, another day of life!

    Had my hand on the dollar bill
    And the dollar bill blew away
    But the sun is shining down on me
    And it’s here to stay
    That’s why I’m telling you

    I just want to celebrate, yeah, yeah
    Another day of living, yeah
    I just want to celebrate, another day of living
    I just want to celebrate, another day of life!

    Don’t let it all get you down,
    Don’t let it turn you around and around
    And around and around

    Well, I can’t be bothered with sorrow
    And I can’t be bothered with hate, no, no
    I’m using up my time by feeling fine, every day
    That’s why I’m telling you I just want to celebrate
    Aw, yeah
    I just want to celebrate, yeah yeah
    Another day of living, yeah yeah
    I just want to celebrate another day of livin’, yeah
    I just want to celebrate another day of life!

    Don’t let it all get you down, no, no
    Don’t let it turn you around and around,
    And around and around, and around
    Around round round
    ’round and around round round round

  11. geologywoman says:

    Cornhole…I said it! LOL. I say it too, “she walks like she’s been…”
    Sorry about the chemo, but I think you are a strong person and Rachel needs that. Bless.

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