I found the frickin’ thing.

I am SO fucking glad. I have been looking for this fucking phone for six fucking days.

It was cold last week. I wore a corduroy shirt with an upper pocket. It’s been warm since then. Tonight it’s cold again. I put the corduroy shirt on tonight. In the pocket is the damn fucking phone. As you can tell by my language I am very very relieved. As I was shining the flashlight under every piece of furniture in the house I am thinking “While I am looking here, where the phone is not, there is somewhere where the phone actually IS. ”

What a weird feeling.

Anyway. I got out my old old phone today and put it in my purse to take it to Verizon to get it activated tomorrow. Was that the catalyst to my finding of my lost phone? Who the hell knows? Do I look like I know anything?

I DO know that I am SO phucking happy to have found my phucking phone. πŸ™‚

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38 Responses to I found the frickin’ thing.

  1. kimkiminy says:

    I knew it’d turn up. What a relief. Did I not mention going through all of your clothes? πŸ™‚

    • Lauri says:

      I went through the BOTTOM pockets of my clothes. And like I said…it was COLD last week….then it got warm….I didn’t even remember wearing that shirt. OY! πŸ˜€

  2. What did I say about those damn pockets? I’ve rescued my phone from near-drownings in the washer more times than I can count.

    But thank goddess, you found it. Now you’ll find a zillion text and voice messages on it and you’ll wish it stayed lost. πŸ˜‰

    • Lauri says:

      Happily there were not too many messages…..errr…at least yet!

      What a friggin’ relief.

      I hate being dependent on these things…although I did manage to have a fantastic weekend without it!

  3. Kzinti says:

    Ok, who had Pocket on the board? I picked the Sofa, but guess that wasn’t it. Dammit.

    • Lauri says:

      I cannot even describe all the places I looked for that bugger. And then, as I was heading out of the house, into a cooler evening breeze, I put that shirt on and…..”What is THIS?”

      Sheeesh! I looked through the couches SO many times!

  4. Snowy says:

    I’m a bit miffed the dog didn’t eat it. I rather enjoyed the vision of Lauri going through the motions…

    • Lauri says:

      As it happens, I gathered up, shook and washed ALL the dog beds. In this house, with four dogs, that is “going through the motions”.

      As for looking in the dog-poops…I hadn’t seen anything worthy of note!

  5. Jaypo says:

    Oh,YAY!! w00t!! and h00t!! I’m so glad, now don’t turn off the ringer unless you must!

    β€œWhile I am looking here, where the phone is not, there is somewhere where the phone actually IS. β€œ Dude. That’s like, so freakin’ awsum, it’s like, philosophy, man.

    I loVe that!! I have to remember it for the next time I lose something!!

    • Lauri says:

      Hai, hai, HAI, Jaypo!

      What a blasted RELIEF!!! I won’t turn der ringer off for nuttin’, now!
      It was a rather out-of-body experience. And I didn’t like it!!!


    • Redscylla says:

      Plus it reads like a totally awesome homage to Raising Arizona. “Dammit, are you boys gonna chase down your leads or are you gonna sit drinkin’ coffee in the one house in the state where I know my boy ain’t at? ” Glad you found your sneaky phone!

  6. Aussie Emjay says:

    Great news! Now back to our regularly scheduled program πŸ™‚

  7. snoringKatZ says:

    I’m still laying money on alien abduction. They just put it back in your shirt pocket to make you THINK it was there the whole time. Notice anything unusual sticking out of the charging port?

    Just sayin…

    *adjusting tin foil for better coverage and deflection*

  8. LBeeeze says:

    It wasn’t you. It was Cali. She almost ate it, but then she realized where the good fudz comes from and decided to stuff it in your shirt pocket instead.

    She totally knew you’d find it.

    LOL at your liberal use of the ph word. HeeHee.

  9. crankypants says:

    Yay! I was pretty close when I asked if you were wearing a hoodie (assuming that you took it further to know I was thinking maybe you’d left it in the pouch, not the actual hood…)
    Glad that is over, I can’t believe it went on that long. I kept seeing phone commercials and wondering if you’d found it, there is a Droid commercial about this very problem you know. tee hee!

    • Lauri says:

      I went through jackets and hoodies and thought I had checked them all. Obviously I had NOT!

      I have the dear thing turned on, with the volume at high, now. πŸ˜›

  10. littleoddme says:

    LMAO – I know it was stressful for you, but this whole saga has been monstrously entertaining for me. πŸ˜›

  11. Doug says:

    Don’t hold back, tell us how you really feel.

  12. madtante says:

    My smartphone is my ONLY access to email or the web once I leave work. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1,000 times: if I had high speed internet at home, I’d never leave.

    So, it’s the high-speed internet that gets me to show up at work. Apart from that, I’d choose to live in a cave and paint on the walls with poo or something. I’d totally devolve…or is that regress…or revolve? Something.

  13. capnstephel says:

    YAY! I think I heard your phone laughing. Just don’t smack it around too much for hiding like that

  14. GOF says:

    Your happiness is contagious……..this, along with Snowy’s priceless comment starts my day on the right foot. πŸ™‚

  15. leendadll says:

    Glad you found it before tossing it in the laundry!!

  16. Artswebshow says:

    lol, cool rant.
    i’m glad you found you phucking phone too πŸ˜€

  17. Emmy says:

    I totally lost my shit when I could not find my phone this summer – during work. We had travelled to 3 different sites – hours apart. We got out of work early but guess who had to drive all over eternity until 6 pm? Did not find it until days later. Horrible feeling. Especially when I’m driving. You just know that’s when you’re going to have a car breakdown. Sheeet!

    Glad you found it.

  18. CreakyGeek says:

    I’d say props to AuntieBellum for guessing cool-weather->jacket, but also points for Crankypants. A hoodie is nearly a jacket, after all.

  19. Have you been listening to dog bellies all week? I am glad you found it. Just for the sake of victory. You won. Now crush that fucker with a sledgehammer.

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